What Might Have Been
by jamileigh17
Summary: Kat gets into trouble (As always) and travels to the mists to find Derek.


What Might Have Been  
  
These characters ECT are not my property. This is just for enjoyment.   
  
Alex looked out the window, but she wasn't really looking at anything in particular. {Not that you can see much anyway in all this fog!} She thought. She wondered if all the Legacy houses have the same knack for developing fog. She had been in London for several days, and the constant fog and dampness, combined with having to cope with Derek's death, left her feeling tired and rather depressed. He had been more than just her boss. When she was an undergraduate in college, he had been her advisor, and ever since they had met, she was infatuated with him. She thought it was just a schoolgirl crush, but as the years went by, she found herself thinking about him increasingly. She had thought, however, that he didn't feel the same towards her, only to find out mere hours before the explosion that he felt the same way. Thinking of their first and only kiss made Alex start crying again.  
Wrapped up in her own thoughts and troubles, she didn't hear the soft footfalls behind her. She was startled out of her thoughts by Kat. "Hey. Nice makeup job." Kat said, sarcastically.  
"Brat. I was just thinking." Alex said.  
"What happen, did a black marker get possessed and run amuck on your face?" Kat joked.  
"Ha Ha Ha! Soooo funny! NOT!! You're just begging for a tickling aren't you." Alex replied, as Kat took off running down the hall. Alex caught up with her, grabbed her by the waist, and the fell to the floor, laughing, forgetting that the world as they had known it was forever shattered.  
After a while, they calmed down, and Alex asked Kat, "So, I know you didn't just come down here to make trouble. What did you want?"  
"Well... Can I ask you something? And keep it a secret, just between us?"  
"Of course. You always can. What is it?"  
"OK. Here it goes... Do you think that there is some way Derek could have survived that blast? I mean, the basement was riddled with secret passages, and some of them led out. One I found once goes right under the bay into the outskirts of San Francisco. Maybe he's hiding. And there's no sign of a body."  
"Well," Alex said, "Anything's possible, but don't you think he would have contacted us by now? What gave you that idea?"  
"Well, I figure that if he was dead, he would have come to say good bye. I had this dream last night, where I saw him, except he was all messy, very scared, and... he was hurt." Kat bit her knuckle and looked down at the floor. "Alex, it was all my fault! The explosion, I mean. Remember a few months ago when you had found those pentagrams I had drawn, and you got sick, it was my fault 'cause I had put a spell on you, but I didn't mean it, and to break it, I had to break something, and the only thing I could find then was a frame with a picture of the house in it, and there was an earthquake, and I think that's what weakened the seals on that door and caused them to break! So it was all my fault!!!"  
Alex, shocked by Kat's confession, just sat there for a second, thinking. In some strange way, it made sense. {At least} she realized, {there was nothing I could have done to talk him out of it.} She looked at Kat, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Oh, Kitty Kat. It's okay. There was no way you could have known what would happen. I look at it this way. What is meant to happen will happen; our actions are all guided by our fates. We do have choices, but once our choices are made, there is nothing we can do about it. Don't beat yourself up over this."  
Kat looked at her, wiped her eyes, and said, "I know this is going to sound weird, but we have to go back to San Francisco. He is alive, I'm convinced of it!" With that, Kat stood up, and ran down the hall. Alex quickly followed, concerned about Kat's strange behavior.  
"Where are you going?" Alex asked as she and Kat ran down the twisting corridors. Kat didn't bother to answer, but turned a corner and opened a door. Alex followed, and was surprised to find the London house's Precept, Sir Edmund Landover, staring a very large tome. "What in all the hells are you doing down here. This area is off limits unless you have some urgent need to be here, which I know you don't! Alexandra Moreau, take this child upstairs now. I will talk with you in my office."  
"Sir, with all due respect, you need to listen to this." Alex said. "She has frequently been able to see and know things that are beyond normal understanding. She has the sight. Better than anyone else I've ever seen. She saw Derek, and she says he is alive. Look. We don't have time for this. We have to find him."  
Landover glared at her. "You have the audacity to suggest that I drop everything I'm involved in, to go rushing off on the whim of a child? What makes you think Derek is even still alive, let alone that we can find him, merely based on a child's vision?"  
"Yes. That's exactly what I am suggesting. Besides, with or without your consent, we are going to go find him." Alex said, and turned around to leave. Kat followed.  
"Wait. Give me a few minutes. Go wait in my office. Bring Nick and Rachel." With that, Landover walked off, muttering, "children!"  
*  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you had a dream like that? I didn't know you could see things like that. And when were you planning on telling me this Katherine Ann Corrigan?" Rachel asked. Kat knew she was in trouble when her mother used her full name.  
"I know it sounds ridiculous," Alex said.  
"Ridiculous?" Rachel interrupted incredulously. "Ridiculous is pigs flying or hell freezing over. This surpasses ridiculous. This is just pain crazy, and coming from a psychologist, that's a fact!"  
"Rachel, you've known for years that Kat has the sight. This is just another expression of it. Chances are, she's been blocking it since what happened so it has to find other methods of manifestation. Besides, why not? If she's wrong, then there's nothing lost except a little time, but if she's right, we will find Derek, and regardless, at least we will know one way or the other!"  
"Come on you guys. We have to go. I think I know how to find him. I... I don't really know why, but in that dream there was this rock on the beach, and there was a door on it. I recognized it as one of the tunnels that came from the house. It's about 1/2 a mile south of the city," Kat said.  
"Well," Nick said, "Why not. I don't see any reason not to." Rachel looked at him, shocked. "Like Alex pointed out, there's nothing to lose, and a lot to gain. If he is alive, we have to find him."  
"Well, if you guys believe it, I don't see any reason not to try. After all, we really donut have anything to lose." Rachel said, and then when Kat cheered, continued, "But don't get your hopes up. If he isn't still ... well, we'll deal with that bridge when, or if we get to it."  
"Besides," Alex said, "anything beats sitting around here worrying about what might have been."  
*  
  
"Flight 24603 to San Francisco International Airport is now departing. All passengers should now be aboard," a coarse voice said over the airport PA. Kat, Alex, Rachel, and Nick were already on the plane. Landover had decided to stay in London, claiming paperwork. The flight would take them a good 12 hours, after which they would have to go through customs. It's not as if they would have to put up with that. They could just pull rankings. They would simply say they were from the Luna Foundation, and since they had helped the INS the year before on a case, they wouldn't have a problem. The plane flight gave them all time to think. Now that they were actually doing it, doubts began to assert themselves in Kat's mind. {What if I can't find him?} She thought. {And what if I'm wrong? }   
If he is actually dead, and we find him, will it be my fault?  
Even though she knew it was irrational, Kat couldn't stop thinking about it. She kept replaying the past few days in her mind, and each time, she saw Derek, as he had appeared in her dream. His hair had been all tangled up, and he had bruises and scrapes covering his face. Kat looked out the window, and saw the dark ocean waves far below. The noise of the engine combined with the events of the past few days made her quickly fall asleep.  
She dreamed again of Derek. She saw him kissing her mom on Christmas Eve. She remembered she had been so angry with him for that. The scene shifted to that night when she had broken the spell on Alex. She saw herself surrounded by candles, breaking the picture of the House. The scene shifted once more, and she saw the explosion rocking the island.  
Kat woke up, feeling a scream rise in her throat. She stifled it, because she knew that it was just a dream. But some part of her mind insisted that it was more than that. The sight she wondered, but quickly dismissed it. She hadn't Seen anything in a while, and she was somewhat glad. She had always felt different, both because of her gift and because of their involvement with the Legacy and she didn't need the Sight acting up. She knew that she would never have been like the other girls at her school, but after the whole thing with Miranda, she was even lonelier than before. Not only did her classmates think her weird, but now she had gotten a reputation as a troublemaker to go with it.  
"Kat, honey, what is it?" Kat's mom asked. Kat thought for a second, shrugged, and then told her "Nothin'. I just had a dream. No big." She turned toward the window, determined to avoid her mother's searching eyes.  
"Kat, what was the dream about?" Alex asked from across the aisle. Kat shook her head, and said, "Like I said, nothing. It was just a dream. Just stuff." Kat yawned, and continued, "Can I go back to sleep now? I'm still really tired. I swear I'll tell you all about it later, but right now I'm going to sleep. Wake me when we get to San Francisco." With that, Kat leaned back against the window, and closed her eyes. { I wish she would quit making such a big deal out of everything.   
Not everything is some sign or portent. Can't a girl have a dream anymore without someone bugging her about it? I know she just wants to help, but must she always be so nosy?} She listened as Rachel and Alex talked softly about her.  
"I just don't know what's gotten into her lately." Rachel confided. "Sometimes I feel as if I hardly know her. I mean, I know every girl her age tries to pull away from her mother to establish her own identity, but does she have to be so spiteful about it? She just shrugs me off. Gods Alex, sometimes I wish that she was still that innocent little girl who would crawl up into my lap and hug, or crawl in bed with me when she'd had a nightmare."  
Alex touched her friend's arm. "Of course you do. She's your baby. I remember when I was her age I was terrible. I was always getting in trouble, staying out all night with friends, skipping school, you name it, and I probably did it at one point or another. But I knew all along that Grandma Rose would always be there for me when I needed her. All you have to do is make sure Kat knows that you are always there for her too. Nick and me too."  
"I know. Thanks. It's just so hard sometimes, and with everything that's going on, I just... well... thanks." Rachel said, unsure what to say. She turned away slightly, and opened her book On a Pale Horse. One of the women at the London House had gotten her interested in it, and she thought it wasn't too bad. {Who ever this Piers Anthony person is, he's a really good writer} she thought. {Kat would probably enjoy this.}  
*  
  
They landed in San Francisco early in the morning, but because of the jet lag, they decided to wait until the next day to go to the island. They went to Rachel's house where Nick crashed on the couches, Kat rolled out a sleeping bag in her mom's room with Rachel, and Alex climbed into Kat's bed. They all slept like babies, except for Kat. She rolled out of the sleeping bag, grabbed her purse, and crawled out onto the window's outside ledge. From there, she climbed onto the roof. She looked up at the moon, and whispered, "Oh, Goddess, help us find Derek. Help us bring him back safely, and make things the way they were."  
She sat there thinking about Derek. All the times he saved her life, and even her soul. {If he is dead} she thought, {then it's my fault. I broke the picture. But I didn't mean for it to happen like this. Besides, the picture was of the house, not of Derek, so there's still a chance... I have to find him.} She slid off the roof and slunk down the street like a cat, silent in the dark.  
*  
  
Rachel rolled over, trying to block the sun from her eyes. "Good morning Kat." Rachel said, rubbing the sleepy gunk from her eyes. She looked around the room, surprised not to see Kat's sleeping form. Thinking she might have gone to the kitchen to get some thing to eat, she went down there, peeking in each room as she went by. Looking in Kat's room, she saw Alex hugging herself in her sleep, her face tear streaked. {Poor Alex. I've never seen her so sad. I wonder if the others are hiding it like that too.}  
She walked down the stairs. Nick rolled over and looked up at her. "What's up?" he asked, noticing the look of concern on her face.  
"I can't find Kat. She was in my room, but when I woke up, she wasn't there." Rachel said, shaking.  
"I'm sure she's around here somewhere." Nick said, putting his hand on her shoulder. She nodded, and they went to the kitchen.  
"She's not here." Rachel said, verging on tears. Nick squeezed her hand, and said, "It's ok. I'll go wake the others, you go get cleaned up." Rachel nodded and went upstairs. Nick went and woke the others.   
*  
  
Kat slammed down the payphone, frustrated. Nothing. She'd called the hospitals, the shelters, even the morgue, yet she found no trace of Derek. She glanced at her watch: 7:42. {Crap! I gotta get home! Mom's going to spaz!!} She began running towards her neighborhood, when someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a nearby alley.  
*  
  
Rachel drove down the street, her eyes searching frantically. Alex leaned out one window with a pair of binoculars; Nick leaned out the other, each yelling for Kat. She turned the corner and slammed on the brakes. "That's her purse! Come on. She's got to be around here somewhere!"   
Nick took off running to the left, and Rachel to the right. Alex headed down the alley. She turned the corner and saw Kat, lying unconscious on the ground. "Rachel, Nick! Over here! I found her!" She ran over to Kat's still form, and knelt down next to her.  
Rachel ran over, followed quickly by Nick. Concern warred with fear in Rachel, who wanted to just pick her up and hold her close. But her doctor's instincts won out, and she bent over her daughter, carefully brushing a piece of hair from her face. She had a small bump her on forehead and a cut on her temple, but seemed to be ok. "Let's take her back to the house."  
*  
  
Rachel sat in a chair next to Kat's bed. Kat was still unconscious, and Rachel was beginning to get frightened. She looked at her daughter's serene face, and noticed that she seemed to be dreaming. {I wonder what she's dreaming about.} Rachel wondered idly.  
*  
  
Kat found herself standing in the House's library. She looked around, startled. She looked up on the balcony, and saw Derek standing there, looking down at her.   
"About time you got here. I've been calling you for the last two weeks." He said, his accent thicker than usual.   
"Derek! You're not dead!" Kat said, excitedly running up the stairs. She went to Derek and threw her arms around him. "They didn't believe me, but I was sure you were ok."  
"Not exactly. I'm not sure where my physical form is, and I haven't been able to get back to it. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you. You know that you have so much power, power that we have been telling you not to use. But I realized that forbidding your practicing Magick is just going to make you sneak around to do it. But you need to be taught how to use this power."   
"You mean you don't mind if I do Magick?" Kat asked, surprised and suspicious. {This doesn't sound like Derek. He'd never tell me to do Magick. He thinks it's evil, even though it's not.}   
"I know you believe that it gives you power, but it's not the Magick giving you power. You already have the power, but you just don't know how to use it. You have no need of witchcraft. Just think it and it will happen. I can't stay here long. Just think..." he said, as he began to fade away.  
"Wait! Don't go! How do I get back?" Kat yelled, but Derek kept fading, and then disappeared. She leaned against the bookcase, and wondered how she could get back.  
*  
  
Rachel started as the door closed. Alex walked in. "Hey. How is she?" Alex asked.  
"The same. I'm beginning to thing that we should have taken her to a hospital instead. Maybe get some CAT scans done or something." Rachel said, rubbing her eyes.  
Alex touched her friend's shoulder. "Go get some rest. I'll watch her and let you know the minute she wakes up, OK?" Rachel nodded, and left the room.  
"Come on Kitty-Kat. Wake up." She said, brushing a piece of hair behind Kat's ear. She recoiled as images poured through her mind. {{ Derek in the library, leaning over her as she tried to translate a text.} { Derek leaning over her as the rest of the room spun around.} { Kat, surrounded by candles, holding a picture of the house, and breaking it.} {Derek running away from the house and jumping into the ocean as fire overtakes him}}  
She sunk down into the chair, rubbing her forehead, as if trying to rub out the images. {Oh God, help us find him. Let him be ok.}   
*  
  
Nick sat the phone back on its cradle and closed the phone book. There was still no sign of Derek, and Kat was still unconscious. Rachel couldn't find any reason for her daughter's cataleptic state, and had decided to take her to the hospital in the morning. "Great. Just great" he said, walking upstairs. He walked past Rachel's room, and saw her sitting on the bed. She was staring at a picture of Kat, Connor, and Patrick that had been taken less than a week before Connor and Patrick's deaths.   
"Hey, Rachel, it's going to be ok." He said soothingly, and sat down on the bed next to her.   
"She's all I have left." Rachel sobbed. "What if she's not? I don't know how I could..." she was crying hysterically. Nick wrapped his arms around her, until she fell asleep, exhausted.   
*  
  
Kat sat on a stool in the kitchen thinking and saw an apple on the table. "Well, let's see. Derek said all I have to do is think, so maybe..." she closed her eyes and thought of ice cream, imagining that the apple was really ice cream. She opened her eyes and found a bowl of ice cream sitting where the apple had been. "All right! Now all I have to do is think myself back home."   
She sat there thinking for a while, but nothing happened. Frustrated, she got up and went to the door. "Maybe if I am home in this world, then I can make myself home in the normal world." She opened the door, but instead of the normal backyard and gardens, she saw a gray mist swirling and thick.   
"Or not!" she said, slamming the door shut. She sat back down at the table and thought.   
*  
Somewhere in the mist:   
A tall, gray-eyed man looked around, confused and lost. He didn't know how he'd gotten in the mists or where he really was. He saw the outline of a castle in the distance, and headed towards it.  
He arrived at a door and, with a trembling hand, knocked on the large oak door. After a few moments, the door opened, and a young girl stood there. "Derek! What happened to you?" she exclaimed as she led him inside.  
*  
Alex leaned out the window of Kat's room and looked at the sparkling stars shining in the night star. She noticed one star that was particularly bright, and said halfway to herself, halfway to the star, "Star light Star bright, brightest star I see tonight. Wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. I wish..."   
Her voice trailed off, and she looked back over at Kat's still form and walked back over to the bed. "Kat, sweets, come on. I know you're in there. I can feel you. Come on. Wake up." She plopped down in the chair, frustrated and tired.  
"Alex?" a faint voice said, shaking. "Is that you?"  
"Kat! Where are you?" Alex said, looking at the bed. Her still form on the bed didn't stir.  
"Kat, listen to me. You have to wake up. Focus on my voice. Your mom, Nick, and I have been very worried about you. Come on, wake up!" Alex pleaded, and leaned over the bed. To her astonishment, she saw Kat's eyes flutter and open.  
"Hey there Kat. About time you woke up." Alex said softly and headed for the door.  
"Alex, get Mom and Nick. I know where Derek is. He told me." Kat said, groaning as she sat up.   
*  
A few minutes later, Kat was brushing her hair as Rachel, Alex, and Nick entered the room. Rachel went over and hugged her daughter, relief showing in her face. "Mom, we don't have time for this. I know where Derek is. We have to go to him. We're running out of time. They're going to find him and kill him if we don't find him NOW!"   
"Kat, calm down. What happened to you?" Rachel asked, trying to force her daughter back to the bed.  
"I don't have time to explain. Trust me. Derek's life is on the line." her voice quivered, and she struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to pour out.  
Nick and Alex nodded, and after a moment, so did Rachel. "Alright, but afterwards you are going to explain it all ok?"  
Kat smiled and nodded.  
*  
They drove out of the city, Kat telling them to turn occasionally. Kat told them to turn onto a dirt road, and they bumped along. Finally, they saw an old abandoned house. The once white walls had turned to a mottled gray, and the porch looked as if it was about ready to fall in. Rachel looked skeptically at her daughter, who jumped out of the SUV and ran to the door.   
Nick hopped out and grabbed Kat as she reached the door. "Hold on a sec. Let me go in first, just in case. We don't know what kind of state he's in. Let me check it out first, ok?" He said, and Kat nodded sullenly.   
He pushed open the door slowly, and shined his flashlight inside. There was only the one room, and it was completely bare, except for a couch facing away from him. Nick signaled outside, and Rachel followed him in. Alex held Kat by the shoulders, anxiously waiting.  
They circled over to the couch. They saw a motionless form laying there. {Derek!} Rachel thought, feeling a faint pulse at his neck, and could see his chest struggling as it rose and fell. They picked him up, carefully so as not to hurt him, and took him outside. They laid him down on the remnants of grass that were all that remained of the front yard.   
Kat watched as her mom and Nick carried Derek out, his battered and bloodied body only hanging on to life by a single silver thread. She quietly slunk away from Alex into the edge of the woods surrounding the house. She focused her mind on Derek, the way she had always known him.  
"Derek here your body lies,  
In the sight of friend some eyes.  
To it now you must go,  
And your safety let us know" she intoned, and walked back to where Rachel was trying to rouse Derek. His head rolled sideways and he opened his eyes and looked at Kat.   
"Derek! I did it!" Kat said excitedly.  
Her mom looked at her, surprised and confused, then at Derek, who was clearly in pain. "OK, Derek, just relax. It's going to be ok, we'll take care of you."  
They picked him up and carried him to the SUV. Alex sat on one side of him, holding his hand tightly, as they drove back to the city.  
*  
In the dark a pair of eyes glowed red like embers. An ominous laugh rang through the woods, and a flock of birds took flight from the treetops.   
"I'm not finished with you yet, Derek Rayne. In fact, I've just begun."   
*  
{{{A week later}}}  
Derek sat down at the computer terminal and peered at the screen. Alex walked through the wall, came up behind him, and started massaging his shoulders. "How are you feeling? You look tired."  
"I'm fine. It's just this phrase doesn't translate right. 'Tenebrous et lux aeternae simul.' It's something like 'darkness and light together forever" but the first word is wrong. It should be Tenebrae, not Tenebrous." He rubbed his forehead, trying to think.  
" I don't know Derek, maybe it's just a misspelling. What is it from?" Alex asked, leaning very close, and he could feel her breath warm on his skin.  
"Lautus Cosilium, meaning small wisdom. I've been meaning to translate it for a while." He sighed and leaned back in the chair. "You didn't come down here to discuss translations. What's up?"  
"I just... I keep thinking that we could have lost you, and I never would have told you..." she closed her eyes, and he put his arms around her.   
"I know. I've always known. And I feel the same. Right now, it's not possible to act on it, what with the London house inquiry, and I have all this paper work, but in the future, who knows what might be.  
  
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